Women Fishing-Never With My Wife Again

First of all this story is totally made up about women fishing. It is my rendition of a day of fishing with my wife. I can write this because I know how much she hates fishing and after 21 years of marriage I know what would happen. Any references to ladies that may seem unfair or prejudice are all done in fun.

I know the sport has come along way and many of the top fisher people in the world are women. So please don't write me back telling me how you want to cut my knacks off or anything like that. The entire hub is meant in fun and is kind of a starting point for my series of hubs on fresh water fishing.

So sit back and enjoy.

Okay, I told her that I wanted to be on the road by 5 in the morning. We had a one hour drive to the lake so then we could be fishing by 6. That meant we had to be up at 4. To me this meant I had to be up at 3 just to try and have her out of bed by 4.

So now 6 has come and gone and she has finally stumbled out of bed. I'm trying to be nice, I'm trying to be patient. In fact I am biting my tongue so hard I can feel the blood inside my mouth. I sat down eagerly with her to have a cup of coffee but the last straw was when she told me she would only be 45 minutes taking a shower, doing her hair and then her make up. I insisted this really wasn't needed but guess what? I lost, she walked out the door looking good enough to go to the prom.

Anyways I guess it was about 8 when we finally got in the truck to go fishing. I kept reminding myself to shut up if I wanted to avoid an argument I knew I would lose. Now she wanted to stop and get a coffee for the road. I would have been okay with that if she wouldn't have insisted on going to the coffee place clear across the other side of the city in the opposite direction we were going.

The one hour drive reminded me that women fishing just shouldn't be. All the way there all she could yap about was if it was going to be too hot, too cold, too windy and she kept asking how long we would be staying. I let her rant for an hour which seemed like 10. finally at 11.45 we arrived only almost 6 hours late. Oh well I thought, may as well make the best of it, that was it for the morning.

I finally thought I was going to forgive the thought that women fishing wasn't for me until??? That's right. I was happy. she was in her lawn chair, I had interruption free fishing for an hour. I should have known it was too good to be true. So here's how things went.

She told me she was cold and I needed to go get her sweater from the truck. I did that without getting angry. Then she complained because the cell phone service didn't work where we were. All I could think was this was good because then she wouldn't be able to call 911. The biggest kicker was yet to come.

Now she told me she had to pee. This should have been easily solved for the simple reason there was an outhouse about 50 feet away. Nope, that just wasn't going to do. She insisted she had to have indoor plumbing. The nearest public rest room was 5 miles away at the tourist information booth. So I packed everything up, made 2 trips to the truck and we were off.

I thought half hour tops we would waste. Hell no!! I couldn't be more wrong. Once there she wanted to look at all the little displays and brochures. It was like a little museum inside there. Then she saw the restaurant, well I knew I was doomed then. It was time to give up. I asked her if she wanted to stop and have a burger. I'm sure you all know the answer to that question. Well here we were pulling back up to the lake at 4 in the afternoon. I guess I still had the evening fish.

The entire day was almost lost now. I only had about an hour of fishing left before we would have to leave. At this point women fishing was never going to be allowed with me ever again.

The last hour was good. The wife sat in the truck because she was cold. I caught about half a dozen walleye. At least I got that out of the trip. It was finally time to go home. I was irate and I just wanted to lose my cool but instead I just listened to her babble all the way home.

I really wasn't paying attention. I could just hear noise as I thought about how I could have drowned her earlier without anyone ever finding out.

We finally pulled into the driveway. I let her out of the truck and rehearsed my blow up as I parked the truck in the garage. This was going to be a goodder, I could feel it but I knew it was something that had to be done.

I stepped into the house ready to unload.

As I walked around the corner ready to blow my top she walked up to me and put her arms around me. She gave me a huge hug and kiss. I really wasn't sure what was happening but was sure I was about to find out.

I asked her what that was for? She responded by telling me it was because she was so happy that the two of us spent such a wonderful day together. She told me she would cherish every moment and thanked me for allowing time to do some of the things she wanted.

She thanked me for not rushing her in the morning, taking her to the indoor washroom, taking her for lunch and for the rest of the day.

I couldn't believe what was happening. A moment ago i was going to find my shovel and dig a shallow grave in the backyard and now I had somehow given her a perfect day.

Like I said none of this story is true but I know it is exactly what would happen. My wife can come fishing with me anytime she wants and as for women fishing, guys it's really the best experience in the world.

Feel free to checkout my blog at Women Fishing.